Reach deep within, and reconnect with the essence of your being. –Bryant McGill
I couldn’t find the paper towels yesterday morning and I burst into tears. I immediately knew I wasn’t crying because of the paper towels. I knew it was simply the thing that sent me over the tipping point. I had a rough parenting moment earlier in the morning and my heart was still aching for our older son. What I’ve come to call “my feelers” were generally a little more open to and feeling the woes of the world yesterday. I had also reviewed my to-do list of tasks that includes my list of bigger-picture/when-I-have-time things to do.
When my husband asked what was going on, I replied through tears, “I need a breath to find my words. I’m just full. Or empty. Or both.”
My own words stuck with me through my latest training reflection time. This morning I asked our US Team, “How’s your soul?”. They both answered by sharing their to-do-lists. At that point, I nudged them (and myself) to start tending to our souls more. So many of us are so busy and our schedules are so full. We feel like we’ve given out all we have to give (aka we’re empty). On the other hand, we might also be in tune with doing things because we’re passionate about them or their impact, and we find them inspiring (aka we’re full).
I am personally mobilized and motivated, and I’m finding it difficult to push pause because I can see where things are going and I’m excited to get there. Another girl moved into My Refuge House this week. We have one more opening before we are full. One of our college students helped lead a group on anti-bullying for over 300 teachers earlier this week! Fashioned For Freedom is happening next week in Dallas…two ticket levels are already sold out, and there are so many great supporters and people involved or attending! While I am in Texas, I will be connecting with a couple old friends and with two churches who love My Refuge House in deep ways.
I want all of that and more in my life, but I am only one person. I also have a family beyond My Refuge House.
Today, I am marveling at the ability to feel both empty and full at the same time. Whether you are feeling full, or empty, or both, I hope you will take a breath and find your words. There will likely be more clarity and support once you name and share how you’re feeling.
My husband found the paper towels.
Please. Tend to your soul. Encourage others to do the same. I think the world needs us to do this.
Inspired by How Full Is Your Bucket?, A Drop For Your Bucket offers a somewhat stream of conscious peek into my brain and heart during my training “adventures”. Between my 40th birthday in October of 2017 and the 10th anniversary of My Refuge House in September of 2018, I will run 10 different races. My hope is to gather friends along the way who will either run with me or cheer us on as we raise awareness about the journey of My Refuge House! I hope you will receive at least drop of inspiration in each of these raw reflections. Thank you for reading and pondering.